The Elevator Kiss

Paul Spitz

During my employment with the U.S. Government I lived in several locations and had some interesting experiences. The one that may be most unusual happened when I lived in Hawaii.

Once, after spending most of the day talking with military officials at both Hickam Air Force Base and the Pearl Harbor Naval Facility, a co-worker and I were tired and hungry so we decided to eat dinner at a restaurant located on top of a hotel in Waikiki. Since the restaurant had good food and an excellent view of the beach, we had a very enjoyable meal. But the most exciting part was yet to come.

We took an elevator to the ground floor where we had parked. On the way down the elevator stopped and three people (two men and one girl) got in. The girl was between the two men who were literally holding her up by her arms, because she was obviously drunk. Although she was inebriated she appeared to be in a good mood. She looked straight at me for a few seconds and then asked if she could kiss my belly button. The men told me not to pay any attention to her because she was drunk. However, I said, "yes, you may". She unbuttoned my shirt, pulled up my t-shirt and bent down to kiss my belly button—but she missed. She looked up at me and said, "oh, oh, I missed". I said, "try again"—so she did and managed to kiss it. Then she tucked in my t-shirt, buttoned my shirt, patted my stomach and said, "that was nice, thank you". To which I said, "you’re welcome, that was a delightful kiss".

At this point my co-worker said, "how about mine". She jerked up his shirt, looked at his hairy stomach and said, "nah too hairy", and left his shirt hanging out. Now her two friends took her by her arms and held her until we reached ground level. Then they carried her off the elevator by her arms, without her feet touching the ground, across the parking lot to their vehicle.

This was one incident I shall never forget. However, the girl was so drunk, I suspect that she did not recall anything that happened.

©2004 Paul Spitz