Sandbox or Socrates:
The Great Nursery School Debate

by
Barbara Woods Collins

I am old enough to remember when life (as well as schooling) was simple. Children stayed home until they were six years old, which was about as long as the average mother could tolerate having them underfoot all day.

At the magic age of six, Mom released her darling to the school, fully confident of the school's ability to handle his education, seldom stopping on the way to the school bus to test his "readiness".

And the school usually came through. Realizing that this mother probably had more children at home underfoot, teachers were reluctant to send the child back home for "readiness", even if it were lacking (and even if the mother knew what "readiness" was).

So, ABC's and 123's were introduced, and were usually mastered by these previously illiterate (and unready) children. The children's mastery was adequate enough to allow them to grow up able and read (or even write) their generation's dirty books, as well as cheat on their income taxes.

Mothers, during those simpler times, had few of the modern conveniences that are enjoyed today, which meant they had little time to think about children underfoot, readiness, or even ponderous subjects like "social skills" or "developmental levels". They naively thought "readiness" meant being on time and fully dressed when leaving for the school bus.

But, not so today! Women have been liberated from household drudgery, and therefore have adequate time to devote to many subjects, such as civic responsibility, color analysis, jogging, and creative preschool education.

Preschool education begins at birth, and no good mom will deprive her child of its advantages. Cribs are covered with gadgets to provide the infant with something to look at. I wonder what we looked at when we were infants. Maybe we looked at a busy spider making a web; I don't remember. But, no spiders for the modern baby! Instead, hundreds of dollars are spent on toys that end up looking like a spider making a web.

Once the child is able to move any part of his body in any fashion, the toys must change. They become toys to touch, push, twist and chew. But they must provide some educational enrichment at the same time. Babies have always been inclined to touch, push, twist and chew. However, in the old days they apparently never received any educational enrichment. We need special toys to make touching, pushing, twisting and chewing educational activities. Ask the toy manufacturers; they know.

This educational process continues, with a new set of toys designed to educate children at different levels of their development. Each parent selects these toys carefully, always choosing toys recommended for a child slightly older than hers, because her child is exceptional. There are no average children involved in this process. A child is not allowed to play with a toy meant for younger children, even if he is attached to it and doesn't want to trade it in. This might significantly retard his development. So he is forced to relinquish his chew toy for a twist toy, because it will be time to learn to twist within weeks (or so the books say), and he must master it sooner than the books say because he is exceptional.

One might think this process would provide all the educational enrichment needed by a preschool child, but let us not forget the social skills. There comes a time when all good moms must make a decision that could affect her child's entire future--the choice of a nursery school.

It would seem to be a simple decision. If socialization is the goal, then playing with other children should be enough. Not so! Mom must still consider the child's educational development at the same time; therefore, the nursery school must also be an institution of learning. But what kind of learning should there be?

Surprisingly, there are still nursery schools that allow children to play. They have educational toys, sure. But a four-year-old might be allowed to play with a toy labeled "3 years". Mother has to really be careful, because she cannot afford to entrust her child to someone who might allow him to slip backward in his develop. His abilities must be challenged; he must always be nudged forward.

Most nursery schools provide some type of learning activities--activities that offer their graduates a head start in kindergarten. It was once believed that kindergarten was the beginning--that it existed to provide a head start in first grade. But competition to have the best student has forced mothers to begin formal education earlier and earlier. Once word got out that babies could be taught to read, the pressure was on. It would be an embarrassment to send a child to kindergarten without first teaching him all the things he is supposed to be learning in kindergarten. Hopefully, he would also be the only child to know something--like French or Spanish, or what "disestablishmentarianism" means. Choosing the right pre-kindergarten program is, then, important. Some nursery schools offer educational advancement at the cost of socialization. Some offer socialization, but don't even teach French! It is awesome, this responsibility. Should this mom dare risk social retardation for the sake of learning to read at the age of two? Sara's son Todd already reads food labels. Mom can't look Sara in the eye unless her child learns to at least recognize Sesame Street words. But, on the other hand, Mary Beth's little Sally can out-climb her child on the playground. She must work on his climbing. Perhaps she should investigate a gymnastics class after school.

This is an important decision. The main purpose of nursery school is, of course, to avoid embarrassment when the child enters kindergarten. He has a few years, yet, before kindergarten, so a mom might elect to have her child gain the advantages of more than one program. This year he learns to read; next year he can try sandbox socializing.

Whether she chooses sandbox or French or advanced algebra or ballroom dancing or the teachings of Socrates, the mom of today is to be commended for handling a problem that her mother's generation did not even recognize. Her mom believed that her kids were doing fine. Little did she know she was restricting her children's development by offering them pots and pans to play with.

I wonder how the great minds of the past overcame their lack of nursery school education.

© 2002 Barbara Woods Collins